A Day in the Life of an Author-Witch With Too Many Snacks and Zero Chill

—a totally professional glimpse into my chaos by Ari Roper

Let’s start with the basics: I live on the misty edge of New South Wales where the fog rolls in like a mood, the local magpies have beef with me personally, and iced coffee is a year-round personality trait.

I’m Ari Roper. Author. Witch. Snack-goblin. Chaos gremlin. And this is a completely accurate* look at a typical day in my life. (*Accuracy subject to mood, weather, or whether my cat Lucifer is currently plotting.)

6:47 AM – Iced Coffee & Existential Dread

My alarm goes off at 6:30, which I snooze exactly three times before dragging myself out of bed at 6:47. No, I don’t know why 6:47 specifically—it just feels right. Like the universe whispered, “You’re going to be late in a quirky way.”

Lucifer (my cat, not the actual Devil… though jury’s out some days) is already perched on my chest demanding food and/or a blood sacrifice. I shuffle into the kitchen, make my iced coffee with way too much vanilla syrup, and check the weather, which is usually "moody with a chance of writer's block."

Then I sit in my window nook, tarot deck in hand, pulling a card to see what kind of energy the day holds. (Today it’s the Tower. Again. So that’s cute.)

8:00 AM – Writing… Allegedly

This is the block I like to call “Fake Productivity”—where I open my current WIP, reread a scene I forgot I loved, and then spend the next 30 minutes overthinking a line of dialogue that ends in “whatever.”

Right now I’m deep in the chaos of writing Sarcasm & Seduction, which features a witch with no chill and a shadow prince who flirts like a threat. They’re arguing. Again. It’s hot.

But just as I’m hitting a stride…

9:17 AM – Snack Break (a.k.a. The First Procrastination Ritual)

I stand up to “stretch” and end up in the pantry, holding a bag of sour candy and wondering if I can call it breakfast. Spoiler: I can. I will. I do.

Somewhere in here, I text my best friend Jade a screenshot of a spicy scene I’m debating, followed by:

"Is it too early in the book for wall-kissing?? Asking for a me."

She replies: “Ma’am, you open the book with a thigh dagger. There are no rules.”

Bless her chaotic soul.

10:00 AM – Social Media Spiral

I open Instagram to post a reel. I stay to watch 47 of them. Somehow I’m on WitchTok, then BookTok, then thirst traps of fictional men who look suspiciously like my own characters. I post a meme. I schedule a newsletter. I forget why I came here.

Lucifer knocks over a pen pot in protest.

I call him a little bastard. He purrs like it’s a compliment.

11:30 AM – Actual Writing (No, Seriously This Time)

By now the coffee has fully kicked in and the Tower energy is working overtime. I dive into my manuscript like a gremlin possessed. My Spotify playlist goes from “haunting choral war cries” to “indie angst and flirt vibes” in a single breath. I write three pages of enemies-to-lovers tension so sharp it could slice bread.

The characters are bantering.The tension is thick. Someone is probably shirtless. Life is good.

1:00 PM – Witchy Intermission

Lunchtime! I light a candle that smells like “dark academia with a side of bad decisions,” grab some leftover garlic bread, and pull out my spell journal. Today’s entry: a protection charm, a curse I absolutely won’t use (but might), and a note that reads:

“Remember to stop writing characters your mum will ask about in therapy.”

Spoiler: I will not remember.

2:30 PM – DM Duties & Plot Detours

I run a fantasy campaign with friends that started as a serious, lore-heavy epic and is now mostly innuendo and chaos. I prep a few scenes while cackling at how one player is definitely about to romance a demon disguised as a tavern singer.

DM life teaches me two important things:

1. No one follows the plot.

2. People will flirt with anything that talks.

So, basically, writing books prepared me for this.

4:00 PM – The “Crisis Hour”

Here’s where I stare at my screen and spiral.

Should I rewrite the climax?

Is the love interest too hot?? (Is that a thing??)

Why is there a random dragon in Chapter Seven?

This is when I open my WIP doc, then a new doc, then TikTok, then Discord, then go to the fridge for wine but settle on sparkling water and cry with glitter under my eyes.

My sister texts me: “Have you eaten something green today?” I text back: “Mint-flavored gum.”

Close enough.

6:00 PM – Reader Mode Activated

By now I’m done pretending to be productive. I crawl into my beanbag, wrap myself in a fuzzy throw blanket, and read something spicy enough to count as market research.

Sometimes it’s indie romantasy. Sometimes it’s a Wattpad relic. Sometimes it’s fanfic that makes me gasp and throw my phone across the room.

Every time, I’m both inspired and angry. How dare this stranger make me feel emotions??

I jot down ten new book ideas and commit to none of them.

8:00 PM – Chaos Unwinds (Sort Of)

This is my wind-down hour, which involves:

• A bath with mood lighting

• Witchy playlists featuring violin solos and rain sounds

• Summoning the motivation to do skincare

• Arguing with Lucifer about whose side of the bed is whose

Occasionally, I’ll write one more scene—usually the kind that should definitely come with a spice warning—and then lie in bed grinning at the ceiling like a menace.

11:11 PM – Witching Hour

Before sleep, I always:

• Check the moon phase

• Pull one last tarot card (usually dramatic)

• Whisper a chaotic little wish to the night

Then I turn on my “enchanted forest at night” soundscape and try to sleep, but usually get struck by a plot twist at 12:04am, turn on my phone flashlight, and scribble something like:

“What if the cursed crown is SENTIENT and in LOVE???”

And thus, the cycle begins again.

Final Thoughts (Because I Can’t Shut Up)

Being an author-witch with zero chill means my life is messy, magical, snack-filled, and occasionally possessed by horny fictional men. I wouldn’t trade it for anything—except maybe a ghost-free castle with a bottomless bookshelf and a coffee bar run by fae.

Thanks for following my chaos. If you relate to any part of this—especially the snacks, spirals, or sword-flirting—you’re officially part of the coven now. 🖤

Now you tell me: What’s in your daily chaos routine?

Drop a comment, tag a fictional man who ruined your life, or send me your fave writing snacks. Bonus points if it’s cursed.